speaking of simplicity

5: small things

2012-02-06T17:42:00.005-05:00

the movies
movie theater popcorn
previews
artsy films
comfy clothes

4: small things

2012-02-01T07:39:00.002-05:00

feeling better after being sick
new friends
doggie love
morning coffee
music!

3: Small Things

2012-01-27T20:39:00.003-05:00

lady bugs
sprouting daffodils
blue skies
fresh dirt
warm breezes

2: Small Things

2012-01-26T22:24:00.003-05:00

wine

wine club

guaifenesin-codeine solution

bed

sleep

1: small things

2012-01-25T06:45:00.001-05:00

New project.
That which you place your attention on, grows.
For the next 365 Days I'm planning to place my attention on finding
Grace in Small Things.
Here are my five things for today...

Hot Showers
A Comfy Bed
Riccola Cough Drops
Tulips
Candlelight

The of Heart of Life....is good.

2012-01-15T09:32:00.001-05:00

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good....

Brene Brown on The Power of Vulnerability

2012-01-14T07:42:00.001-05:00

Prayers for my auntie

2012-01-13T12:22:00.004-05:00

One of my favorite aunties is very, very ill and has nearly stepped through death's doorway more than once in the last two months. She is perched there even now as I type this up. Today, we all wait with baited breath to hear news of her.

When the calls come I'm fine, rational. When I hang up, I weep. Why do I let so much time slip through my finger tips when I could be with, talk to, or even just think happy thoughts of the ones who mean so much in my life? Is this what it means to get older...To realize that they aren't kidding when they say life is short, make every day count, live each day as if it's your last?

Falling off the wagon....

2012-01-10T18:59:00.003-05:00

I'm sick. What do you do when you're sick? Eat homemade chicken soup. So that's what I'm doing and I'm feeling a bit better already. I think it's alright to make exceptions in case of illness. That's my line and I'm sticking to it.

New Year's Resolution

2012-01-05T19:02:00.003-05:00

.........Live in the moment.

I'm going to try to shoo away any worrisome, non-present moment thoughts this year. They don't do anything to improve my life. It's possible that they do some damage.

Dinner tonight...

2012-01-04T18:01:00.002-05:00

If you make a big enough salad it really does fill you up. Tonight I had fruit salad on top of a huge plate of baby spinach. My jaw got tired by the end but my belly is full!

Did you know that one hundred calories of broccoli has more protein that one hundred calories of beef? No problem except that do you know how much broccoli that is? Lots.

Left overs and a movie...

2012-01-03T22:24:00.003-05:00

Super fine day. It was a frigid kind of cold out today so I set a fire in the fireplace when I got home from work. We had an eclectic dinner of parmesan chicken for the kids and left overs for me then watched The Help together. Not too many thoughts about what I was eating. I turned the leftover rice and beans into a stew and had a salad for dinner. Greek yogurt with granola from Starbucks for lunch, oatmeal and banana for breakfast. Seems like lots of grains and too much sugar but oh well. Tomorrow's another day.

Right now I'm sitting in front of the glowing embers waiting for the fire to go out so I can turn in to bed. Lovely day.

Today...

2012-01-02T19:20:00.005-05:00

.....I ate like a vegetarian. I did have some dairy in my salad at lunch. But mostly I had fruit, veggies, nuts, and rice. Yum.

Oh yeah...And coffee. Coffee is a hurdle I'll have to tackle later.

Have you seen Forks Over Knives? I stumbled upon it when I was searching Netflix for a movie one night. It was an interesting movie but one of the best things about it was that it prompted me to do a bit of investigation into the claims of the researchers. They claim that eating a low fat entirely plant based diet can dramatically reduce the incidence of cancer and heart disease. Very interesting indeed. What I learned was that I may need to be careful about wheat protein as well. Gluten may be as much of a culprit in heart disease and cancer as saturated fat and cholesterol.

My, my, my. What have I gotten myself into?

New Year, New Adventure

2012-01-01T19:05:00.006-05:00

Journaling is a worthy pursuit, or so I'm told. I wish I had a dollar for every January first that I've started fresh with the hope of gaining clarity, gratitude, or peace of mind through journaling.

This year is going to be different!

I'm starting a new adventure. I've decided that I will finally make the commitment to eat a much more plant based diet. I don't like labels or boxes so I refuse to give my new lifestyle a name (such asVegan, Vegetarian, Plant-Based, Ovo-lacto-vegetarian, Pescatarian or the like). I will only promise to do my best to make healthy choices and try write them down here.

You may be wondering...or maybe not...what prompted my decision. This may sound far fetched but it all started in my fifth grade class with Ms. Stone, "The Coolest Teacher at Meadowbrook Elementary", when we hatched chicken eggs. Or to be more precise it all started when she let us dissect the unhatched eggs. I couldn't eat eggs for ages after that. The uneasy feeling lingered pretty much forever and I've been caught in the complacency trap ever since. Meat is the easy convenient choice abundantly accepted in the Mainstream American Diet, and therefore has been the cornerstone of my diet all my life. I, like many other Americans, was indoctrinated into the belief that animal protein is the healthy way to go. You need meat and eggs and milk to build a healthy body. Right?

Wrong. I think. So I'm heading into new territory with a lot of excitement and a little bit of trepidation. I'll try to keep a journal of how it's going and maybe one day in the future I'll look back and wonder what all the fuss was about. My hope is that on that day I'll be healthier and more sure than ever that I made the right decision.

Wish me luck!

PS: Tonight's dinner....Steamed green beans served with wild grain pilaf made with black beans, and a side of fresh strawberries. Feeling very satisfied and a little bit smug about how happy my belly is right now. (Roasted an organic rosemary chicken for the rest of the family. They seemed happy too.)

photo (o)ops

2011-12-28T18:11:00.004-05:00

smile mom, my girls say.

relax, it's just a picture

you look cute. really.

Charter for Compassion

2011-09-28T18:36:00.001-05:00

Home for the Weekend

2011-09-23T15:14:00.003-05:00

She was home for 30 minutes. We got home from JMU at 3:30. She left to visit her band friendlets by 4:00. It was good to see her anyway....

Moving on....

2011-09-12T12:47:00.006-05:00

I wish I had something wise and compelling to write about today. But then again since not too many people see this blog I don't know if it makes much of a difference how wise or compelling my words are.

Things are going fine with me, thanks. I got Abby off to college with a minimum of drama on my part. No racking sobs, no pulling of hair. Just a very, very happy college freshman and a couple of old farts wandering around the house wondering where everyone went.

So now the kids are all gone and we're trying to figure this grown up life out. We've had kids in the house since we were 23, married just 13 months before Lauren showed up. The house is very neat most of the time. We've still got both of the hairy children so we're not completely alone. They're a lot of company......

Last year I started working on this patient satisfaction project at work which has turned into nearly full-time work. It may officially become full-time before the year's out. I have mixed feelings. Now my time is free to be filled by things other than school, homework, marching band and swim team. So do I fill it with work? Will that fill me up? The jury is still out one that one. I don't mind working but I miss my free time. Is there any happy medium? I'm not sure.

Brad says I think too much about things. I guess that's true. ......Maybe I could just relax and be happy with the all the blessings that have been bestowed upon me......maybe.....

Simple Truths

2011-07-22T04:48:00.001-05:00

"Thankful"

2011-05-24T19:45:00.000-05:00

Somedays we forget
To look around us
Somedays we can't see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be.
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see.
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.

Look beyond ourselves
There's so much sorrow
It's way too late to say
I'll cry tomorrow
Each of us must find our truth
It's so long overdue

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And every day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though we all can still do more
There's so much to be thankful for.

Even with our differences
There is a place we're all connected
Each of us can find each other's light

So for tonight we pray for
What we know can be
And on this day we hope for
What we still can't see
It's up to us to be the change
And even though this world needs so much more

There's so much to be thankful for....

Litany by Billy Collins

2011-05-14T16:58:00.004-05:00

You are the bread and the knife,
The crystal goblet and the wine...
-Jacques Crickillon

You are the bread and the knife,
the crystal goblet and the wine.
You are the dew on the morning grass
and the burning wheel of the sun.
You are the white apron of the baker,
and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.

However, you are not the wind in the orchard,
the plums on the counter,
or the house of cards.
And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.
There is just no way that you are the pine-scented air.

It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,
maybe even the pigeon on the general's head,
but you are not even close
to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.

And a quick look in the mirror will show
that you are neither the boots in the corner
nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.

It might interest you to know,
speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,
that I am the sound of rain on the roof.

I also happen to be the shooting star,
the evening paper blowing down an alley
and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.

I am also the moon in the trees
and the blind woman's tea cup.
But don't worry, I'm not the bread and the knife.
You are still the bread and the knife.
You will always be the bread and the knife,
not to mention the crystal goblet and--somehow--the wine.

Sometimes

2011-05-09T17:52:00.004-05:00

Sometimes things don't go, after all,

from bad to worse. Some years, muscadel
faces down frost; green thrives; the crops don't fail,
sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well.

A people sometimes step back from war;
elect an honest man; decide they care
enough, that they can't leave some stranger poor.
Some men become what they were born for.

Sometimes our best efforts do not go
amiss; sometimes we do as we meant to.
The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow
that seemed hard frozen: may it happen to you

~ Sheenagh Pugh ~

Love After Love

2011-04-27T20:55:00.003-05:00

Here's a poem a friend posted on facebook that I have now lifted because I absolutely love it.

See what you think....

Love After Love by Derek Walcott

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Any thoughts? I have a ton of them and I'm eager to hear yours.

My Secret

2011-03-29T17:13:00.002-05:00

I'm a closet New Age-r. I love anything that has to do with metaphysics, holistic healing, meditation, spirituality, consciousness.

Last week I watched The Secret. Have you seen it? My secret is that I've known about The Secret (...like attracts like...the creative force within the universe) for some time now. So far I'm not focused enough to make it work to my best advantage. Generally I do it unconsciously, as do most of us. But I have noticed that things tend to happen as I think they will. When I think gloomy thoughts and bad outcomes, I get gloomy bad outcomes. When I imagine the best and expect good things they generally happen.

With the exception of the lottery. Wonder what I'm doing wrong there....

Crazy Heart

2011-02-14T16:51:00.002-05:00

I had no idea Jeff Bridges could sing. Not only that, I was blown away by tenderness of this movie. It's one I want to watch again. And download the soundtrack.

huh?

2011-02-09T08:31:00.001-05:00

Curiosity was framed. Ignorance killed the cat.

cheater

2011-02-08T12:45:00.004-05:00

Dear Blog,

I'm so sorry.

I seem to have forgotten about you. For like...months.

It was all Facebook's fault.

It was a passing fancy,

a crush.

But I'm back now. I realize the error of my ways and I'm back.

It'll never happen again. I promise.

Not until the next new internet craze catches my eye, that is.

Much Love,

Sara

Borrowed Wisdom

2011-02-06T19:42:00.000-05:00

Achieve

Happiness Believe

In Humanity Celebrate

Life Discover The Moment

Embrace Diversity Find Love

Give Unconditionally Have Patience

Inspire Others Judge No One Keep

Goals Laugh Often Manage Anger

Notice Modesty Offer Understanding

Play For Fun Question Everything

Realize Dreams Speak Truth Trust

Yourself Understand Differences

Visualize Peace Waken Curiosity

XXXOOO Yearn For

Progress Zealously

Live Life

Shifting...

2010-10-21T07:42:00.005-05:00

Feeling inspired.

Recently, I was selected to be part of a team that is charged with helping our staff improve patient satisfaction scores. At first I was flattered, then I was skeptical, now I'm inspired and excited!

Have you ever imagined the perfect job and the work you'd love to do if only someone would realize that this would be the perfect fit for you? In moments of frustration and burn out I have dreamt of working to improve staff relations and morale. Well, little did I know that the opportunity would eventually come along.

How often do you get handed the opportunity to be an agent for positive change? Someone says,"Here's an opportunity and we will back you all the way," kind of thing? So far it's happened to me once.

Nursing is a hard job. We're on the front lines of patient care and in recent years things have only gotten crazier. Our patients are sicker and the demands on our time have increased. But people haven't changed. They still come into the hospital feeling vulnerable and stressed. They still need the human touch and connection. Many of us went into nursing because it offered us the opportunity to make a difference in our patient's lives. Making that connection has gotten harder over time.

So here's my challenge. Things are not going to slow down appreciably. We've got to find a way to shift our energy back to the patient and still give excellent safe care. In the mix we've got to make our staff feel more whole so that they can come to work feeling that they have something to give. No small task.

Balance Shmalance

2010-09-29T06:50:00.004-05:00

Last night I went to the senior college meeting at the high school. My youngest is going to graduate this coming June and I need to be on top of the college admissions process. It's been a while since we've done this.

The senior year is such a crazy one. She's in an International Baccalaureate program and the demands are ridiculous. Add in marching band and extended essay, TOK, as well as more SATs and early action deadlines and it's looking almost impossible. In fact, today she's home sick. The weekend was packed with a football game Friday night, an all day marching competition Saturday (I didn't even know there was such a thing before she started in it) and all day homework Sunday. Now she's fried.

I will say, taking a full IB load was her choice. While we like our kids to challenge themselves, we never pushed her to do the full diploma. (IB programs offer a full curriculum, which yields an IB diploma, or IB certificates which are awarded for individual classes, more like AP. The diploma takes "crazy" to a whole new level.) However, there seems to be a fair amount of peer pressure at her school to try to go for the full diploma. The county we live in is full of over-achievers and post graduate degrees. It's in the air. We're surrounded. It's hard for the kids not to pick up on it. I can't blame it all on our community but it's hard not to get sucked in.

So how do we teach our kids to seek balance when we allow this kind of craziness at such a young age? At this point we're so far into it we're really just doing damage control. When we see that she's feeling overwhelmed, we try to encourage some down time. We try to ease the burden by going easy on demands at home. We allow her a day off sometimes even though she'll have to make up missed school work. Looking at it objectively, I'm not sure we've approached any of this with her best interests in mind. But like I said, you get swept along and now here we are in her senior year. Next year she flies and has to figure it out on her own.

Oh dear, what have we taught her?

Loving What Is

2010-09-28T06:20:00.006-05:00

I'm reading a book called The Voice of Knowledge. It speaks to me. The basic premise is that we are all born innocent and perfect and it is our societal programming that teaches us that we're not good enough as we are. (There's a whole lot more about how this came to be a predominant human condition but I'm not too concerned with the author's theories.) This is not new news. On some level we all know that we shouldn't have to work so hard to prove that we are good enough. We resent the voice in our head that never shuts up, reminding us that we can do better, look better, be better than we currently are. That voice is our harshest critic.

For me, one of the blessings of growing older has been a slightly less critical inner voice. I have gotten to know myself pretty well over the years and I'm beginning to be more okay with what is. Some of my favorite people are those who are comfortable in their own skins. Somehow just being around them helps me feel more comfortable in mine. I admire them. Judgement and criticism, whether it's turned inward or out, isn't pleasant to be around.

What would life be like if we didn't feel that we had to prove ourselves, compete, or measure up? Would we be more in touch with the part of ourselves that is pure love and joy, compassion and benevolence? Can you even imagine what a pleasure life would be if we operated that way? But can we give it up? What would happen if we consciously decided to accept ourselves as we are.... do what we love, wear what feels good, eat what we want just for the joy it brings, without regret and self-recriminations later on? What if we decided to just give up our sense of having control over any one else's decisions? How much space would that open up in our lives for happiness?

Lots of rhetorical questions, I know. I guess that's what happens when you contemplate "what if".

How quickly they forget...

2010-09-24T14:07:00.004-05:00

Blogger has forgotten me. I can't tell you the runaround I got trying to log in. Phooey. Now that I'm in I only wish I had something interesting to say.

I've been back from the trip to Europe for almost two weeks now. I got back and hit the ground running, having missed the first week of school. So in lieu of chatter I'll just post a few photos from our adventure. Sorry they came out so small. Maybe you can enlarge them by clicking on them?

Hope you're all in good health and happiness,

Sara

The Boqueria Market in Barcelona. We stayed right next to the market. It runs all year long and is located on La Rambla, on of the most famous streets in the old city.

A little peek at the Mediterranean through the streets of Villefranche- Sur-Mer along the Cote d'Azur.

Cheers!

The water outside the walls of the medieval city of Dubrovnik, Croatia. The water is crystal clear!

Along the main street inside the old city walls.

2010-08-18T15:45:00.002-05:00

If there's a God, he's testing my patience. I've been tested and found lacking. I hate that.

Facebook....

2010-06-25T13:23:00.007-05:00

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

You give me something to look at on my cute little smart phone.
You make me feel like I have friends, even when I am alone.
You let me see pictures of all sorts of people in all sorts of places and situations. That includes pictures of myself, pictures that I wouldn't let even my best friend see, pictures I don't even want to have to see myself!
You give people the impression that their thoughts, however miniscule and meaningless, are worthy of sharing.
You let me join groups like When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand chocolate.
You encourage me to buy things I never even knew I needed like a Masonic Ring or Invisalign braces.
You keep me posted on how my friends are spending their free time; aka how many points they are scoring in "Farmville".
You allow me to connect with people I would hardly talk to if it weren't for you. What would I do if I couldn't use "Hey, did you see so'n so's post yesterday? Was she serious?" as a conversation starter?
............

Ah-hah....

2010-06-24T14:26:00.003-05:00

"No matter how far you have gone on a wrong road, turn back."

Turkish proverb.

I'm feeling this one today. Thank God for proverbs. I love finding a little pearl in a sea of blather!

Powerful

2010-06-21T07:07:00.001-05:00

Celebrate!

2010-06-19T09:33:00.003-05:00

wanderlust

2010-06-17T07:57:00.003-05:00

I figured out what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be a world traveler. Original, right? This spring I have been hit with a bad case of wanderlust. I feel caged here. I'm sympathetic to my animals and what they must feel stuck indoors. I want to get out, feel nature around me, see the sky and explore new places. The outside seems so alluring and the inside so known.

This summer I have some plans. My husband and I will travel down to southern Virginia and into North Carolina for a nearly free vacation. If I can convince him, we'll visit Asheville and explore western NC too. Later on in summer my recent graduate and I will travel to the Mediterranean for our celebratory cruise from Barcelona to Rome. Hopefully we'll be able to stay a few days in Rome exploring it's beauty and history. In late September, Brad and I will travel to Aspen for his big meeting. Fun for me, work for him. Beautiful place either way. I'd love to sneak a trip to Austin in somewhere too...maybe in November? I've got to get down there to meet my little boy cousins before they go off to college....if I'm still invited that is.....

Some of the other places I want to go? Vancouver, Montreal, Venice, Tanzania, the Grand Canyon, Tuscany...So many places. Such expense. How will I get to them all?

In defense of gray....

2010-06-16T07:47:00.012-05:00

Not that anyone has said anything negative (to my face anyway, except one nurse friend who assured me that I'd look soooo much younger if I colored my hair), but I've been thinking about it and sometimes I feel I need to justify my decision.

Wearing my hair this way is important to me.

For one thing, I realized that it might not be very healthy to color. The last time I colored my hair I distinctly remember that the dark shadow that was left on my skin the day I dyed it had disappeared by the next morning. But I hadn't yet washed it again. Where'd it go? Duh! It was absorbed by my skin! It hit me like a ton of bricks.

That's one reason, but there are more that go a bit deeper. I truly felt like a fake when I was coloring my hair. I knew I was doing it out of a fear of looking older. I admired the moxie of other women who could show their true color with pride but I didn't have the guts to be one of those women. I hated knowing that within two weeks of coloring I had to be careful which way the wind was blowing 'cause my roots were going to show big time! Not that I was secretive about my coloring habit, I just didn't want anyone to see how "bad" it really was.

Finally, I have a problem with authority. I hate being told what to do. And I got sick and tired of societal norms dictating that I should fear being gray, aging, of "letting myself go". I had people tell me "you're so brave." I wanted to laugh when I heard that because if they knew how horrified I felt every day, how I poured over the Going Gray website in search of support and motivation, they'd know that I wasn't so brave. In the end, I guess my desire to be authentic outpaced my fear and the end result was a head full of silver hair. If that's courage then I guess I have it. The reward is that now I'm free from chemical exposure every four weeks, free to let my hair blow in the wind, free to explore my life as a silver headed woman. That I like. A lot.

OMG, I'm getting old!

2010-06-15T10:32:00.006-05:00

There are a lot of things that remind me that I'm not a youngster anymore. Rather than go into great detail I'm going to post them as a list. Maybe you can add to the list or maybe you can just laugh at my old fogey-ness. Whatever works....

I have silver hair. I'm not saying I don't like it but it wasn't always like this.

I recently discovered that if I were younger, I'd be removing a lot more of my body hair. I'll just leave it at that.

Sometimes I tuck my shirts in and wear a belt.

I really need to get a pedicure in the summer. This isn't so much a want thing for me anymore.

I only have a few apps on my iPhone.

I can't sleep past 7 am.

I travel with a tweezer and magnifying mirror.

I'd rather go see a Beatles cover band than Lady Gaga.

Progressive lenses are no longer optional.

I'm considering a bathing suit with a skirt this summer. That is, if I even show myself in a swimsuit at all.

That's 10. I'm stopping now before I really depress myself.

Kirby

2010-06-14T06:30:00.006-05:00

This summer we're adding a new family member. His name is Kirby and he's my brother's family dog, a labradoodle. They're moving to Germany and can't take him. So he's moving in with us. Doggie number three. Our princess Penny may have some adjusting to do but it'll all shake down in the end. She'll always be Brad's best girl.

Hot Mama!

2010-05-03T07:29:00.005-05:00

Monday, May 3, 2010

Hot yoga. I'm really liking it. Especially since I heard I can burn 1128 calories in one class. Now I'm hooked.

Feels good to sweat out 3 pounds of water in 90 minutes.

Seriously.

Woman to Woman

2010-04-30T13:06:00.006-05:00

Friday, April 30, 2010

The other day my sweet friend told me that some of the younger ladies at work had shared their opinions regarding her decision to let her hair go gray. They told her that it would make her look old, it wouldn't be flattering, that it wasn't going to be a pretty color gray, and that (get this) she owed it to herself and womankind to keep coloring it and to take care of herself. Needless to say, she felt attacked and shaken. She began to question her decision to let her hair return to it's natural color and was kind of shocked by the venomous way her friends handled themselves.

Why is it that women treat other women that way? Why can't we see that we are all in this together and that we need to love and appreciate each other so that others will too? When one woman chooses to "own" her true self and attempts to come to terms with her natural aging process, why can't other women embrace and support her decision? Don't they realize that by knocking down one woman's efforts they help to perpetuate the degradation of women and the distorted notion of female beauty in this country?

I'm just sayin'....

Nighttime

2010-04-25T20:57:00.004-05:00

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Having laundered, cooked, straightened, stocked, and chauffeured my way through the weekend, I have made it to Sunday evening. The house is quiet and dark and I'm sitting on the brick fireplace typing into my iPhone for lack of anything better to do. I'm having a hard time reading my book club selection (so what else is new?). Abby's on the big Mac and Brads's falling asleep to Shakespeare in Love in our room. I had a cup of coffee at 6 so sleep is out for me for a while....

Do you have a Sunday evening routine? I wish I did.

Back to try again.....

2010-04-22T17:33:00.005-05:00

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Long dry spell.

I'm finding myself becoming a bit addicted to some of the new tech-y toys and it's a rather disturbing trend. I got an iPhone in October and since then I have downloaded mobile Facebook, Mobile Me for my email, Line-up, Kindle for iPhone, Weather Channel, and a few other apps I can't remember now. I have to charge my phone every night in order to have enough battery to get through the next day. And I'm texting now. It's so convenient. The kids read their texts even if they're in class so it's a great way to stay in touch with them. Abby's even texted me back when she's in band practice. (Not saying that I approve of that, cause I don't, but it hasn't stopped me.) What the heck is happening to me?

In the meantime, I have started Bikram Yoga, otherwise known as "hot yoga". It's the hardest, hottest ninety minutes I've ever spent exercising and I think I like it. It's only been a week, three classes to be exact, so I'm not quite a yogini yet but I hoping I'll stick with it. My body needs some attention. The walls in the studio are covered with mirrors and I'm more familiar with the full-on version of Sara than I've been in about 20 years. It's not pretty.

Life goes on. I'm staying busy, but it's all good.

How about you?

The World We Make

2010-04-15T08:19:00.003-05:00

The World We Make by Angel Torres

We make the world in which we live

By what we gather and what we give,

By our daily deeds and the things we say,

By what we keep or we cast away. 

We make our world by the beauty we see

In a dark cell with songs or words we preach,

In a butterfly’s wing, in the pale moon’s rise, 

and the wonder that lingers in midnight skies.

We make our world by the life we lead, 

By the friends we pick, by the books we read, 

By the pity we show in the hour of care, 

By the loads we lift and the love we share.

We make our world by the goals we pursue, 

By the heights we seek and the higher view, 

By hopes and dreams that reach the sun 

And a will to fight till justice is won.

What is the place in which we dwell, 

A cell or a palace, a heaven or hell 

We gather and scatter, we take and we give, 

We make our world – and there we live.

Happy Spring!

2010-04-04T13:56:00.002-05:00

More Mary Oliver

2010-03-03T10:25:00.001-05:00

The Summer Day

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean—
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down—
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

"The Summer Day" by Mary Oliver, from The Truro Bear and Other Adventures: Poems and Essays. © Beacon Press, 2008.

Hello...

2010-02-10T09:29:00.005-05:00

Wednesday, February 10, 2009

A few weeks ago I was in Miami Beach, the temps were heavenly,in the glorious 80's and I was thinking about spring....what I want to plant this year, my annual yard sale fundraiser, home improvement projects, summer vacation plans...all good stuff.

Then I came home and the February Fury made it's move. What the heck? We, along with millions of others, get the once in a lifetime experience of a monster winter storm preceded by a huge late autumn storm and followed by a mammoth winter storm. We have tied the record for largest snow fall in a season and will break that record today. Our average temps remain about 10 degrees lower than normal. Trees are down, power outages are commonplace, and cabin fever is reaching epidemic proportions.

Is it fun? Ummmm....If the house is snug and food is abundant, this winter might be considered fun. If your family is getting on your nerves and you hate shoveling, maybe not so fun.

I shouldn't complain, but I do. I am just ready for it to be over. I want warm breezes and daffodils, blue skies and picnics. The way things are looking it'll be April before the mountains of white stuff retreat. The kids'll be in school till July. Oh God.

How's your weather anyway? Lovely I'll bet.

Celebrity LookAlike Game

2010-02-04T11:53:00.008-05:00

Thursday, February 5, 2009

So, they're doing this thing on facebook where you post a profile picture that is a celebrity whom you think you look like. At first I was like, what the?...but then it began to dawn on me....This is a game and I want to play. Don't know why, but I want to.

Then I set out to find a celebrity with silver hair. That's where I ran into trouble. Not to mention the fact that most celebirties are beautiful and I'm not. Anyway. I had very few options. I could be....

Jamie Lee Curits, (minus the see-through top)...

Helen Mirren, (never in my wildest dreams)

Or Dame Judi Dench. I chose Dame Judi. She's adorable and I love her plucky personality.

Brain Fart

2010-02-02T21:07:00.006-05:00

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

I'm starting to worry. I had a major senior moment tonight. We got together for a large family gathering to celebrate my mother-in-law's 75th birthday. My brother's-in-law were there with their families, all of whom I know. I actually know all of them by name, in fact.
But I had one wrong tonight. I called my nephew Robert by his brother's name, Bryan(probably all night). And when he finally called me out on it I was so flustered I could not access his actual name. My brain just froze up. I think I just stood there with my jaw hanging open thinking OMG! what have I done?! and now I can't even think of his real name! It was a nasty glimpse into the future. It was embarrassing.

Bryan, I mean Robert, if you happen to read this...please, please, please forgive my senior moment. And I promise, I really am going to read The Road by what's his name.

World's Fastest Workout

2010-01-25T20:29:00.003-05:00

This isn't easy. I tried it and it kicked my butt. It was also kind of fun....

Dancing queen?

2010-01-21T10:55:00.002-05:00

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Are you one of those girls who can shimmy out onto the dance floor and dance like a gypsy? Or are you like me? Does it take you a while to work up the courage to step out on the dance floor even though you know that deep inside lies a dancing queen just waiting for your defenses to ease their grip and let her loose?

City of Thieves

2010-01-20T22:29:00.004-05:00

Wednesday, January 20, 2009

I just finished City of Thieves. What a wonderful read! Much thanks to my brother who gave it to my dad, who gave it to my mom, who gave it go me. I highly recommend it!

Hi-ya

2010-01-15T12:29:00.002-05:00

Friday, January 15, 2009 (aka: the day before I leave to go to Florida for a week....)

Hilarious. If you have college kids you must read this!

This blog....

2010-01-10T15:50:00.006-05:00

Sunday, January 10, 2009

.....is suffering from lack of energy and attention.

I'm wondering how you let a blog go, kind of like, how do you let a pet go? How do you know when the time is right?

I'm pretty sure I've said all I have to say. I'm not a person with a soap box, nor am I a photographer or a great writer. I started this thing when I didn't have a voice or a job and now I have both again. I'm fairly busy most days and if I'm not, it's because I'm too pooped to be busy.

Not only that, it seems to me that there is a more convenient way to get slightly more instant gratification on the web and that's Facebook. Not that I'm super in to FB but it's certainly another option if what you're looking for is web friendship. Some of them are even people you know, or once knew anyway.

The real world is calling me and I'm inclined to go. I'll be back for a visit though, soon, I'm sure. My words are here, and my friends words are here and sometimes that's more than enough.

Love to all of you,

Sara

Resolutions 2010

2010-01-01T20:05:00.004-05:00

January 1, 2010

I wasn't sure I was going to do this but I decided to go ahead and put it out there. I haven't seen anyone else's posted yet so I guess I'll be the first.

My list....

Yoga. I'm thinking of doing Bikram yoga. A couple of friends from work are going to do it too so I'm game. My body could use a bit of goodness.
Get back to the lo-carb lifestyle. It just feels better. I'm feeling fluffy.
Write more (blog more, keep a journal), read more, watch less television.
Try to undo my scowl lines in a non-botox way. They're very unattractive and really not indicative of what I'm feeling at any given moment.
Get a grip on my financial disorganization. It stresses me.
Re-aquaint myself with my Simple Living orientation. Slow down. Get over the convenience mentality.
Entertain more.

That's enough, I'm sure.

How about you?

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T12:10:00.000-05:00

New Year's Day, 2010

"Change always comes bearing gifts." ~Price Pritchett

It's gonna be a good one...

2009-12-31T18:29:00.002-05:00

Happy Twenty- Ten!

Surfacing

2009-12-27T10:22:00.008-05:00

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Holy Cow! It's over! Not that I didn't enjoy every minute of it but wow! I'm ready for some down time.

This week is one of my favorite times...I love looking forward to the new year. I always have big ideas and almost always fail to live up to them. Still I'm an optimist and a dreamer so making plans appeals to me.

One thing I'm looking forward is being able to say "Twenty-Ten" instead of "Two-Thousand-and-Nine". I know....sometimes it's the little things that mean a lot. I'm serious though. I'm really happy about that little bit of the new year.

I'm also really looking forward to having a year off from making college tuition payments! In a couple of days I'll pay daughter-number-two's last tuition payment! Woohoo! The next one won't happen till Abby starts college in 2011 (aka: "Twenty-Eleven")!

Resolution wise I'm reserving the right to withhold that info for a few more days. Resolutions are serious business and I'm going to try to take mine seriously this year....

How are you doing?

Hunting

2009-12-09T15:44:00.008-05:00

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I have become obsessed with craigslist. It's like a virtual shopping high that you get when you peruse the listings. In my hometown, little bitty Washington DC, the listings increase by the hour. Hundreds of them, daily.

I'm not sure if I posted about my experience selling my piano on craigslist in November. It worked like magic. Within ninety minutes of posting my listing I found a buyer. Within a week the piano had found it's way to a new loving home.

Then I was left with a big gaping hole where the piano had been living for twenty years. I found a beautiful handmade natural cherry cabinet that would go well there but it was $3000. I love the look of natural cherry Shaker style furniture, but 3000 dollars worth? Not right now. So I started looking on craigslist under furniture and antiques. OMG, did I look. I have possibly damaged my shoulder permanently by sitting for long, long hours clicking through images at my non-ergonomically-correct computer station.

But I found something I love. It's a little antique oak sideboard from the 1880's priced at $350. I'm not too much into antiques but the simplicity of the shaker furniture and the homeyness of the oak seem like they'll work together. The woman who is selling the piece has her own business hunting for special finds, restoring and selling them. She lives about a mile from my house on a sweet little property that used to be a christmas tree farm. In fact, it's called Christmas Tree Farm and she has to post a sign that says "No Trees" so that people don't drive up to the house looking for trees. I've driven by it hundreds of times, always wondering what lucky family gets to live there. The house is a big old white colonial with a small barn out back where she keeps her antiques. So darned cute and unexpected!

Anyway I arranged to go see the piece yesterday and instantly fell in love. On Friday I'll take Brad to see it and if all goes well it'll be delivered over the weekend!

Thanks craigslist! Money in money out, easy come easy go......

Messed Up

2009-12-08T10:33:00.006-05:00

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

It looks like the king has been dethroned, the God of Golf has been demonized, by his own hand no less. I have tried to pay as little attention to this media blitz as possible, and it turns out it's pretty easy. Just don't read the paper, or turn on the the TV, listen to the radio, or read celebrity magazines. No problem.

What is it with these mega-star, power hungry people? Why do they have to be so stupid? Tiger had everything going for him, just like that other dope that comes to mind, Bill Clinton. They are both brilliant at their game but complete losers when it comes to their personal lives. To be honest, as a regular person it's somewhat reassuring to know that we're all human and we all make mistakes. Even super stars. Some of us just happen to make big nasty mistakes right out in the public eye, opening ourselves up to the scrutiny and ridicule of the media and the public in a way that no mere mortal could withstand.

Do I feel sorry for him? Not really. I'm sorry it happened and that he leaves behind a young family and lots of collateral damage. I'm sorry that he did this to all of his fans and made a laughing stock of himself. But he's got more money than God and he can still play golf, so what more does he need? I wish these guys would learn.

Validated

2009-12-06T16:35:00.001-05:00

Sunday, December 6,2009

OLD FRIENDS

2009-12-03T12:18:00.007-05:00

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Wow, this week's been a bit crazy. I have been up to my eyeballs in floor installation guys and it's almost all done. On top of that I've been fighting a bug and spent yesterday in bed. Seems to be passing though and I'm hoping to be back up to speed by tomorrow. Good thing 'cuz I need to work to pay for all this...

One of my favorite things is connecting with old friends. I've been working at the same place for over twenty years. In fact we opened the Maternity Center at Reston Hospital on Valentine's Day, 1989. There aren't too many originals (as well like to call ourselves) left but every once in a while we get together for a meal and get caught up. Every time we do, I leave thinking "Why do I let a whole year go by without being in touch with these friends?" Well, thanks to Facebook I've had an online chat with two of them this morning! Gotta love Facebook. Anyway, friends are not to be taken for granted and I need to be better about staying in touch. I'm the worst at that. Sounds like a good New Years resolution for me....keeping in touch. Now I just need to remember to resolve to do it.

Remembering

2009-11-28T09:29:00.007-05:00

Life is good. I am reassured of this every day. There are reminders everywhere. How can one keep from noticing the goodness all around us?

Right now for instance, I'm listening to beautiful music, a piece that hints at majesty and mystery.

I am surrounded by a loving family.

I am fortunate enough to live in a snug, comfortable house; all my needs are met.

The sky is blue, the air is crisp and cold.

The holidays are upon us.

Knowing and feeling this, I am compelled not to forget that there are others who aren't feeling the security and warmth of a home and family, food in their belly's, or of health and vigor.

I need to think of them and make a move in the direction of their wholeness. Their need is as much my own as it is theirs.

How to do it? Just start somewhere. Anywhere. A random act of kindness, a donation, a day at the food bank, an angel tree gift, visiting the elderly.....a kind word, a smile, a helping hand, a meal. I guarantee it will come back to you tenfold, or more.

Do you have a story of giving that might inspire us all? Please, please share.

Carnegie Hall!

2009-11-19T07:45:00.008-05:00

Thursday, November 19, 2009

I just found a video of The South Lakes High School Wind Ensemble performance at Carnegie Hall last April.

Enjoy,

"The Merry Widow"

"Pageant"

"The Thunderer"

PS: Abby's the cute piccolo player in the front row!

Coveting New vs. Old

2009-11-15T17:07:00.018-05:00

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Is it wrong to want something so much? Probably. No idea how much it costs but I'm guessing way too much. From Gat Creek, a local furniture company that makes sustainability a priority, based in Berkeley Springs, WV.

Oooh, so purty....

I found this one on craigslist...my new favorite obsession. It's $350, mahogany, made in the 1940's.

Close enough? Maybe.

New Blogger?

2009-11-15T09:33:00.003-05:00

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Last night we had dinner with our friends, DJ and Stephanie. They were married recently and this was our first visit with them since the nuptials. Stephanie fixed up a delicious dinner and we just sat around talking for hours. Wonderful evening. Thanks so much.

DJ recently discovered this blog and is thinking about starting one himself. He's got lots of thoughts about a lot of things and I think it'd be a great forum for him. I remember when I started I had so much I wanted to say. Nowadays my energy for it seems to be lagging, but that's not to say I don't still enjoy it.

Do you have any advice for him? Encouragement or words of wisdom?

taking life

2009-11-10T22:36:00.005-05:00

November 10, 2009

I remember the reign of terror of the sniper, John Allen Muhammad. It was awful to be so scared. I remember the horror of hearing he'd struck yet again. I remember how I watched every white utility van, how I tried not to be forced into a life in fear but couldn't help being afraid.

He was wrong to do what he did.

But I cannot condone what happened to him tonight. I just can't. Two wrongs don't make a right, they never do. I can't believe that this is just or right or valuable in any way. I know there are arguments that can be made, justifications and supporting evidence. I don't have any argument except that it's not something I believe in.

I'm terribly sorry that he did what he did. It was horrible, no doubt about it.

I lied.

2009-11-09T18:56:00.009-05:00

Monday, November 9, 2009

For all my talk the other day about holding Christmas at bay, I have a confession to make. I went shopping. While I was in Durham last week for my dad's surgery (which went well thank goodness), I had a chance to meet up with Lauren for coffee. The Starbucks we went to was next to a shopping center in Chapel Hill. Lauren wanted to take a minute to look for some new shoes. As we wandered across the parking lot I spotted a little store called WomanCraft. I couldn't resist. It's a co-op of local artists with everything from pottery to photography and fiber arts to jewelry. I bought some stuff.

Then we headed back out towards the shoe store and we were waylaid again by a Ten Thousand Villages store! I hadn't been to one for a couple of years and I just couldn't resist checking it out. I could hardly drag myself away. I bought some more stuff.

Either somebody is getting some cool gifts for Christmas, or I am. I'm not sure yet how it's going to go. But either way, I'm a big huge hypocrite.

The North Pole? Already?

2009-11-03T09:18:00.007-05:00

Monday, November 3, 2009

Have you noticed that Christmas is right around the corner? I took Abby to the mall yesterday and we were serenaded by Nat King Cole, we wandered around in a forest of elaborately decorated Christmas trees, and drank coffee out of red Christmas cups.

Really? November 2nd?

I love the holiday season as much as the next person but I get a bit worn down by the way retailers slam it down my throat from Halloween on. But the advertisers and marketers are masters of deception. They convince us that without all 54 shopping days between Halloween and Christmas we'll never be ready; never be able to buy it all, wrap it all, dress it up, cook it, or decorate it, much less enjoy it. We have to start early and keep up the frenzied pace till the clock strikes midnight on December 24th.

For me the best remedy to this retail craziness is to stay away. Don't go to the mall. Don't watch commercials. Don't look at the newspaper inserts. I'm going to try to enjoy November for November. I'm going to build fires, walk in the woods, make soup, burn spicy scented candles, and at the end of November I'm going to have a big huge dinner to celebrate the delicious bounty of the earth. After that I may let myself begin to think about Christmas gifts and decorating the house.

But not till then, if I can help it.

Hmmm

2009-11-02T22:18:00.003-05:00

November 3, 2009

"He who wants to do good knocks at the gate; he who loves finds the gate open."

Rabindranath Tagore

Life these days....

2009-11-02T06:10:00.008-05:00

November 2, 2009
For me these days life includes an iPhone. Brad wanted me to have one and so when my contract was up he got me one. While I admit I was fascinated by the phone, I also knew I could live a perfectly happy life without one.
And yet here I sit, in my car at the Sunoco station, waiting to get my car inspected, listening to music (on my phone) and blogging (on my phone) sipping my fresh cup of coffee from the Starbucks across the street. I'll be the first to admit that waiting like this is keeping me entertained but I have to wonder what the world is coming to...
I'm a little afraid of this road I'm heading down.

Happy Halloween, I mean Homecoming, I mean Halloween

2009-11-01T19:50:00.008-05:00

Saturday, October 31, 2009

This cute little Pocahontas came along Trick-0r-Treating and wanted her picture taken too.

being

2009-10-30T15:17:00.002-05:00

Friday, october 30, 2009

Why is it so difficult to just Be? Why is it that we have to be right or be smart or be politically correct. Why isn't okay to just be and to let others just be, too?

I don't know if it's a stage of life thing or maybe it's the gray hair but I find myself wishing that we could all just learn to live and let live; that we could learn to appreciate the good in others and in ourselves and for that to be good enough. It seems like there's so much heartache and stress that comes from all the judging, and striving, and wanting.

Isn't it time for us to grow up and let it go?

Thanksgiving

2009-10-29T07:31:00.004-05:00

Thursday, October 29, 2009

It's hard not to be getting in the mood for Thanksgiving. You just have to take a look around at the beauty outside to feel grateful. What a show nature is putting on for us! Every day it changes. Absolutely gorgeous.

Smiles

2009-10-25T13:52:00.004-05:00

Sunday, October 25, 2009

"Though sometimes people laugh when I say it, I myself always want more friends. I love smiles. Because of this I have the problem of knowing how to make more friends and how to get more smiles, in particular, genuine smiles. For there are many kinds of smile, such as sarcastic, artificial or diplomatic smiles. Many smiles produce no feeling of satisfaction, and sometimes they can even create suspicion or fear, can't they? But a genuine smile really gives us a feeling of freshness and is, I believe, unique to human beings. If these are the smiles we want, then we ourselves must create the reasons for them to appear."

His Holiness, The Dalai Lama

my new fave

2009-10-22T10:38:00.007-05:00

Thursday, October 22, 2009

James Morrison; Nothing Ever Hurt Like You

Attitude

2009-10-19T13:39:00.006-05:00

Monday, October 19, 2009

WATCHING THE BIRDWATCHER

She peers through a pair of binoculars
into a treetop lit with day’s last blaze,
where some bird alights unseen by me.
Her gaze poised so tremulous and light,
as if resting upon a twig -- looking, looking
at the bird that we don’t see. The bird in the tree,
and the seer of the bird sharing for the stainless present
the same slender branch. She stands stock-still.
Expecting nothing. Neither bird, nor bird watcher, nor air
are moving. Nor I, as I watch her, as she watches the bird --
all hung weightless and timeless and spaceless. Perched
upon this dimensionless brink. The twig could not bear
any more load than this bare awareness. If, therefore,
you would not spook the bird, nor snap the twig,
nor shatter this spun glass globe of air, then alight upon
the world like air, like breath. And do not linger any longer
than this bird watcher who now strolls off, the bird still hidden,
still lost in shadow. Forgetting the bird, forgetting herself.
Dissolving like an apparition into twilight’s final bay.
Only this poem still holding on. Foolish poem
grasping at the ungraspable world.

-- Richard Schiffman

Marathon

2009-10-12T11:00:00.003-05:00

Monday, October 12, 2009

Reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.

I'm getting to the point where I care about what happens but I'm only on page 244 and it's 600 and something pages long......

2009-10-11T18:55:00.000-05:00

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Still here. Didn't win the lottery, surprise, surprise.

haiku wednesday

2009-10-07T20:14:00.005-05:00

Wedensday, October 7, 2009

lines upon my face,
silver-gray adorns my head,
time makes its mark here

Feeling old today. Guess you already know that.

new day

2009-10-06T06:10:00.010-05:00

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

"The new day dawns and I am practicing my purpose once again.
It is fresh and it is fruitful if I win,
but if I lose,
Oooh, I don't know.
I'll be tired but I will turn and I will go,
only guessing till I get there then I'll know,
Oooh, I will know......

All will be well,
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself.
All will be well
You can ask me how, but only time will tell."

Gabe Dixon

I'm off to Durham. One more trip to see my folks and practice my purpose. Yesterday was full of good news and I'm hoping this week will only bring more. But only time will tell and I'm banking on the fact that all will be well.

Blessings,
Sara

A prediction

2009-10-05T14:40:00.005-05:00

Monday, October 5, 2009

Just watch and see if Kate Gosselin doesn't end up as the new girl on The View. They seem to be very sympathetic to her plight. And she calls them "girls" as in "Hey Girls!"

I'm just sayin'.

The River Sings to the Stone

2009-10-05T11:58:00.005-05:00

I kissed the stone in the cold of her dream

for she is the silence and I am the psalm,

she is the riddle and I the riddler,

the two of us cut from one eternity.

I kissed the solitary flesh of the stone-

she, the sworn faithful, and I who betray,

she, the enduring, and I who pass on,

she, the earth’s secrets, and I who tell all.

And I knew when I touched a speechless heart:

I am the poet and she is the world.

by Leah Goldberg

The Help

2009-10-02T15:13:00.005-05:00

Friday, October 2, 2009

What a difference a day (or two makes). I'm feeling more like myself today. I'm not sure if it was the flu shot or what but this week kinda sucked.

I started reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett. I'm totally sucked in. I'm a child of the sixties, literally born in '62, so I was alive when this stuff was happening (the Civil Rights Movement, Jackson, Mississippi, the March on Washington, etc) and yet I'm fairly ignorant about how bad things really were. This story has me fascinated. I'm only half way through the book but so far I'm really loving it. I'm supposed to be reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. It's thick and it's due for this month's book club. Lots of people recommended the book so I hope I will enjoy it too. But I'm not into murder mysteries so I hope there's something else to it that will get me going. Have you read it? Did you like it?

Meghan came home today. Yay! I haven't seen her since August 15! So far we've already been to the mall. We'll go to the fb game tonight then more shopping tomorrow. By the time she heads back to school late tomorrow I should be completely broke....

Have a great weekend!

Purpose

2009-09-29T06:15:00.007-05:00

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Do you spend time contemplating things like "What is my purpose?, What am I doing here? How can I make my life meaningful? Am I doing what I am meant to do?" Is it just me? I don't know why I do this to myself, but I do.

As a girl I was very clear on my purpose. I wanted to be a mother. I knew that I would love being a mom and caring for my children, family, home. It seemed like it would be enough. As a young adult I began to understand that I would have to have a way to support that goal and therefore I would need to work. I chose Nursing. Not because of some lofty calling, more like a realization that I had an affinity for the work. I have a pretty steady temperament and a nurturing tendency. Plus at the time there were lots of nursing jobs available. Put the two together and there you go. I became a nurse. I can't complain too much. I'm still employed in my field and I still find the work fairly rewarding. But is it my Purpose? I don't think so. And now my children, who I so desperately wanted, are growing up and needing me less.

Isn't life's Purpose really just to learn how to live well? To appreciate the magic of being alive, the beauty and bounty of our planet, and the people we love? Maybe the question shouldn't be about Purpose but rather about Plan? What is the Plan for my life? If my purpose is to learn to live well then the Plan should promote that goal. What does living well mean? What is my definition of that? How can I get closer in reality to my Idea of a life well lived?

Staying focused on the Idea isn't easy. Details and minutia seem to get in the way. Like, oh yeah, I'm supposed to be sucking the marrow out of life. I forgot. I was so busy with the laundry and watching TV. My training as a mom and nurse taught me that handling these details was important and handling them well was rewarding. Now I'm in a new phase of life where I want more than just the satisfaction of paid bills and a tidy house. I get caught in the riptide of everyday and struggle to keep my head above water long enough to move the next level where I'm aware of a sense of awe and appreciation. That's where I am right now, and for some reason I'm blogging about it. I'm not sure why I feel the need to put this down in words but somehow it helps me to clear my head and get my attitude adjusted.

And for those of you who know me in person, please don't worry about me. This is not a cry for help. I'm just up early and thinking about my day. I'm not sad or depressed. I just think this way sometimes. No worries. Now I'm heading out for a walk in the beautiful crisp morning air.

Thanks for listening.

Girl Talk

2009-09-26T14:59:00.008-05:00

Saturday, September 26, 2009

I took a walk with my good friend Ingrid the other day. I was worried because she mentioned that she had been trying to connect with me and wanted to get together to talk or walk or have coffee or something, soon. I was worried because we generally get together whenever, not so much long range planning. I thought maybe she had something to talk about or some bad news or something. The answer was no, she just hadn't seen me in a while and wanted to visit. How nice. What a relief.

Then I proceeded to tell her about this funk I've been in where I feel like I'm spinning my wheels. I want to be involved in something meaningful but I'm too lethargic and unmotivated to find it. Then I wonder what's wrong with me and why I'm so lazy. I tend to isolate myself a bit too. I've always been a bit of a loner and I'm not good at seeking people out. On top of that, I feel scatter brained and I'm not able to focus well. This funk of mine has lasted through the late summer and into fall and some days it gets me down.

Well, my wise friend Ingrid had some very good advice for me (she's a few years older than me and slightly ahead of me on the hormone curve). She suggested that my energy is low for a reason (read hormones) and that at this time in my life I need to recognize that it's okay to just relax and not be so hard on myself. When things feel like they're not coming easily or naturally, its okay. She said that I shouldn't beat myself up for not having it all under control or figured out, or for not being perfect. It's okay. She thinks that when you've spent your entire adult life tending to the needs of others it catches up with you, and this time is your time to re-stoke. Basically, it's required downtime. I like this idea.

I mentioned her theory to Brad and he wasn't impressed. He said it must be nice to have hormones to blame everything on. I told him I appreciated his input and politely disagreed. (Ha!)

Rambling

2009-09-25T06:54:00.009-05:00

Friday, September 25, 2009

Good morning.

It's a cool rainy morning here in Northern VA. It's a good day for homemade soup. I think I'll start a pot this morning. Probably vegetable soup.

That brings me back to food. I've been thinking about it this week and it's kind of overwhelming me. Because it's not just about food. It's about the corporate mentality of this country, in this age. Everything has changed in the last half century (aka my lifetime). Not only are our food choices being controlled by big business but now I'm starting to think that pretty much every aspect of our lives is being driven by corporate interests. You think you are making decisions in your life, that you're in the driver's seat but I'm beginning to wonder. And it's kind of freaking me out.

It's kind of like driving up to a car wreck on the highway. You really don't want to see but you can't help looking. I don't want to know how bad it is but I feel the need to know more.... How much can I take? What will I do with the information once I have it?

A few links of interest....

Northwest Earth Institute: Menu for the Future

Slow Food USA

Polyface Farm in Virginia

19 pound baby

2009-09-24T16:11:00.004-05:00

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Never mind that she had to have a c-section. That was a relief I'm sure, considering the alternative. I can't imagine lugging that baby around in my belly. Can you imagine the stretch marks? Seriously, I've heard that polynesian women give birth to 13 or 14 pound babies but 19 has got to be big even for them. Yow-chee-mama.

Haiku Wednesday

2009-09-23T19:00:00.004-05:00

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

"It's time to go home."

After a long day at work,

music to my ears.

Long day today, in the newborn nursery. Can't complain too much, I worked with an old friend who is chronically pleasant. Hope you had a good day too,

Sara

Smithfield

2009-09-22T17:51:00.006-05:00

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I'm taking a Northwest Earth Institute class called Menu for the Future. Last night when I was talking with my daughter Lauren about the issue of food, I was telling her that I want to learn more about ethical healthy eating, she said she'd send me some info. She sent me this link. I was saying that in order to muster up the energy to get past my confusion regarding food and all of its surrounding issues, I need shock value. Well, she gave me shock value. And I'm sure there's more where that came from. If you're brave, have a look.

Reasons why it's good to be a girl.... #1

2009-09-22T13:04:00.005-05:00

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Finding pleasure in life, wherever it may be.

Have a happy windswept day!

This and That Thursday

2009-09-17T07:27:00.002-05:00

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Spent yesterday recovering from my painting. Who knew it would be such a workout? Oh, my aching quads. I guess I did a LOT of squats while painting my doors etc.

Today I'm heading out to Middleburg to check out a few of my favorite shops. It's a rainy September day which means the drive will be beautiful and the temperatures will be cool. Tonight is book club and I'm hoping to have some good wine, good food and good conversation. Praying that we can come up with a better list this year. Please God.

I picked up a few books at the library the other day. The first one I started is Very Valentine by Adriana Trigiani, the first in her new trilogy. So far, so good. I forgot how much I like her style. Next I'm hoping to read The Help by Katherine Stockett. Any other suggestions?

Silly Haiku Wednesday

2009-09-16T14:20:00.003-05:00

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Feeling so damn blue,

What's a girl supposed to do?

Eat chocolate, duh.

Enough

2009-09-16T06:41:00.003-05:00

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I was going to try to make this post a haiku but it wasn't working out. So I'll just have to write it out.

I have a problem with Enough. I don't think I'm the only one. I am a wanter. I want so much and yet I also understand that I already have so much.

I want things like new flooring, new furniture, new closet doors, a new basement shower, new windows. These are not small things.

I also want to educate my children, to be debt free, to travel, to have a secure future (retirement included), to be healthy. These might be even bigger.

To top it off, I want close relationships, deep loves, tender moments, and lasting friendships. This is hardest of the wants to achieve. And the easiest. All it takes is being present and available, loving and lovable, listening and sharing. Piece of cake right?

Ugh....

2009-09-15T12:09:00.002-05:00

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

I'm painting today. What are you doing?

Attitude

2009-09-12T13:51:00.003-05:00

Saturday, September 12, 2009

"In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy."

Brother David Stiendle-Rast

Memories

2009-09-11T06:16:00.007-05:00

Friday, September 11, 2009

Clear blue skies, puffy white clouds, kids just back in school. Vacuuming with the television on. Pictures of a building on fire. Questions. Turning to Shock.

Later sitting glued to the screen. Terrified of the sound of military planes flying over head. More questions. More fear. More horror.

Will it ever be over? Will we learn the lessons? Will we move forward?

Silly Haiku Wednesday

2009-09-09T20:41:00.005-05:00

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Our President speaks,

A time of great importance,

Some applaud, some boo.

Coffeyougurt, Is there supposed to be a theme? Cuz if there is, I missed that part....I just watched the president's speech and felt inspired to write......poetry (wha?????) Seriously I needed an idea for a post and that's what showed up. I love writing Haiku though. It always seems to present itself to me with very little effort. Those few little syllables seem to be exactly the right number.

Okay. I rechecked and the theme is supposed to be Education.

Here goes....

Without a degree

I'm not sure where I could work,

I might like Starbucks......

Oh well. I didn't say it was always beautiful.